How can I re-teach my baby to open her mouth wide when latching on? I feel like I have to wait for her to give a cry to latch her on correctly.

Thank you for your question! 

In the last decade, we've learned a lot about newborns and their behaviors - both learned and reflexive.

What we've learned has changed the way lactation consultants talk about "latch." Ten years ago, we may have been quicker to 'stuff' the breast into the mouth, even tug on chins to pull mouths more open.  

We understood that babies needed to open wide, but we didn't understand the importance what comes *before* the feeding.  

I like to talk about how feeding really involves the "toes to the nose" - the whole baby, not just the mouth!  

Here's an example.  Lay back in a reclining position with your infant on your belly, skin-to-skin.  Your baby will start to pull and push and cycle with her knees/legs and feet in an effort to crawl to the breast.  Her back muscles contract and shoulders lift as she moves/crawls up to the aerola. Her hands may push against your chest on either side of the breast as she lifts her head and bobs to locate the breast. The sensory feedback of your warm skin and the smell of the nipple/milk will cause your baby to salivate, lick, and root.  Her head comes back and the mouth gapes open, moving onto the breast and taking the areolar tissue and nipple into her mouth.  

Look at how capable your baby is!  And see how every part of your baby - toes to nose - engaged in a series of steps to get to the latch.   

If an infant is swaddled and is put to breast, they don't have the opportunity to cycle their legs, use their feet, hands, and engage in the natural sequence that leads to breastfeeding.   The swaddled baby might latch ok, but she might not.

A simple way to help a "non-latching" baby is to let her use her own, natural reflexes, from start to finish.  We might think it's helpful when the nurse at the hospital grabs your baby and your breast and pushes the breast into the open mouth, but really, it's the PROCESS that the baby needs, especially in the early days.  And they actually have reflexes that make them 'fight' these push and shove processes, which leads moms to feel frustrated at feedings too.

You can experiment with watching her do her own baby thing!  One way to start: let her decide when to latch, rather than feeling like you've got to find that right moment and "put" your breast in her mouth, or "pull" her closer to you.  When your baby is on her tummy and you are reclining it's easier for her to be in
charge.  

You may find that you are no longer struggling to find the perfect moment~ she'll be finding it for you.   Always go for the earliest feeding cues (lip smacking, tongue motions, hands up at her mouth) and try not to wait for the later cues of crying.  Miss that non-crying moment?  It's ok- we can't always get to them so quickly.  Just soothe her first and then let her do her thing.   You don't always need to lie back
to feed, but this position allows your baby's reflexive behaviors to unfold. 

When we listen to babies, we find we get to be more flexible in many ways.  Instead of concentrating on "cradle", "football", "sidelying", find the positioning that works for you.  Your comfort and baby's behavior will tell you how it's working.

See this link for more discussion and video demonstrating this 'laid back' position:
http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html

In the months ahead, you might hold your baby's hands while she learns to walk and take steps.  If you always held those hands and 'trained her' she wouldn't walk any faster.  She has to start with crawling, and pulling herself up, and cruising.  Same with feeding.  It might take a leap of faith, but so do all things parenting!

If you are experiencing any discomfort with nursing, had any damage on your nipples and/or if your baby was not gaining well, please consider consulting with a lactation consultant.  An infant who cannot achieve a wide gape easily might need a little more support or investigation into underlying causes to ensure successful breastfeeding and ongoing oral development.  Some of these situations result in sore nipples and suboptimal milk transfer.  

If you would like a referral for a lactation consultant, or to speak with a doula regarding breastfeeding or other support needs, please don't hesitate to call us.

Best wishes for your breastfeeding relationship!

Karen Laing, IBCLC